A Morning Whine.....

Lots of this I used to adore, pre-lactose intolerant milkshakes and ice creams, HUGE greasy burgers and infinite pints of ice cold Stella, ALL of which are now all but stopped for by good health and medical reasons, and this morning I FINALLY caved in and added one more to the list, The Morning Line.......


This used to be the Mecca, the Bible, the first, the last, the EVERYTHING for your weekends racing, the one and ONLY "go to" place for insightful, knowledgeable, accurate assessments of the days racing all laced with just a smidgen of cutting, often scathing witty banter, now, it appears, since the vanishing act of Highflyer Productions it has gone down the style over substance route, losing most of it's balls and almost ALL of it's credibility along the way, the people who have *cough* "gone" are sorely missed, yes yes YES, I KNOW Big Mac was a tool of EPIC proportions, but the man has charisma, knowledge, and a kind of battle scarred opinion you can only get when you have been a bankrupt bookie, not once, but twice...a man who nailed, nay SUPERGLUED his opinions to the racing mast week after week after week and NEVER wavered, of course his was OFTEN wrong, but at least he had an opinion, which is more than you can say for most of the Morning Line cast who must have a case of perpetual splinter complaints in their collective rear end for all the fence-sitting they do, they have that horrible, annoying knack (a la Simon Mapletoft) of, between them, covering off/tipping pretty much every nag in the race and then lapping up the plaudits afterwards......example, a 6 horse race, with betting like this, the "chat" would go as follows:

BETTING

1/3  HORSE 1
7/2  HORSE 2
6/1  HORSE 3
12/1 HORSE 4
66/1 HORSE 5
80/1 HORSE 6


"After HORSE 1's 20 length romp in the grade last time it must have serious claims of following up, although HORSE 2 is a consistent mare and could well be on the premises again, both HORSE 3 and HORSE 4 are on the upgrade and it would come as no surprise to see either of them take this rise in grade in their stride, HORSE 5 has dropped 30 lbs since 2011 and is mow on a winnable mark, alongside HORSE 6 who was group class at best, and today could see him go well"

RESULT 1

1st: 1/3  HORSE 1
2nd: 7/2 HORSE 2

"Well it was obvious really, the others were out of their depth and the front two pulled a mile clear, as, on form, they were entitled to"

RESULT 2

1st: 12/1 HORSE 4
2nd 1/3  HORSE 1

"As we said before the race, this horse is on the serious upgrade, and was always in danger of having too many guns for the favourite, the favourite looked to have it all to do at the wights, and so it proved"


This happens on almost EVERY race, it's "base covering" of the HIGHEST order, hedging bets, the currency isn't cash, it's our respect and attention, it' would be infinitely more helpful if the race preview went something like this:

"HORSE 1 should win, and win my some way, beating HORSE 2, as all the others are weighted out of it thus priced accordingly, if HORSE 1 fails to oblige, we should all give up the game!!!"

And THAT'S why I dearly miss Big Mac....

Tanya Stevenson appears to say everything through gritted teeth as if she has to prove her worth, maybe she is just tired from carrying that chip on her shoulder for all the abuse she got from Big Mac in the ring, and is taking out on us, the viewer.  Alice FLUNKIE (or whatever her name is) is a truly AWFUL presenter, stuttering as she is incompetent, if she spent less time GUSHING down the camera lens about Cue Card, Black Caviar et al, whilst ensuring the show goes as BUMPY as humanly possible, all this whilst perpetually buggering up their new "space invader" style touch screen computer, and more on actually doing research and getting her facts straight, she would be mildy more palatable......

Claire Balding is maybe TOO inquisitive, and TOO knowledgeable for the CH4 crowd, often asking questions that we has no clue on, so the jockeys/trainers/owners has NO chance.  At Aintree, the start of the Topham, she was calling for the heads of the jockeys and the starter after the nags wouldn't line up, I think she needs to realise, she's NOT next to the perpetual whining dwarf that is Willie Carson any more, and she doesn't have to be SO MUCH of a try hard....

Graham Cunningham, is opinionated, but prefers to argue with Jim McGrath, who has gone from a Timeform GOD to a caricature of his former self.....and DON'T GET ME STARTED on Mick BLOODY Fitzgerald....the token "ex jockey" on the panel, they would've done a GAZILLION times better keeping "The Greatest" Francome on board, now THERE was a man with integrity...


The one guy I do admire, is the joyful, kindly patronising, factually knowledgeable, often scathing, ALWAYS entertaining Nick Luckhurst, he will often inject his opinions in a conversation which nearly always doesn't involve him with a Paxmen type guile...the man is not only the glue, but the ENTIRE bloody hardware store that is holding this crumbling, former crown jewel of a show intact, just look at his numerous opening LIVE pieces to camera on course at the start of their afternoons coverage and you'll see a true master of his craft.....so when he has a week off and FLUNKIE presents, you can only imagine my sarcastic joy.....



So, there you have it, once my favourite show on the box is fast becoming a shadow of it's former self, trying to be "down wid da kidz" and "move wid tha times" BUT it has replaced a 1970's Ford Escort with a Bugatti Veyron, and, unfortunately kept the same same old, unresponsive, frail, nonathletic driver....


You may agree, you may most likely DISagree, but hey, at least my mast has, and ALWAYS will have my colours WELL and TRULY nailed to it.....



Be Lucky!!!!



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